NRA: Niggaz and Rifles Association

Who hasn’t seen Die Hard?  I have only like 20 billion times. Each time, I dream of how cool it would be to hold out and fight a group of terrorists. Just me and my trusty 9mm taking out armed assassin after assassin. Somewhere in my heart I think I can do that, but then again, I’ve never been stalked by trained mercenaries. I hope I can at least protect myself in a sticky situation, if not soil myself.

I was listening to a liberal radio talk show and some conservative described what he would have done in Aurora, Colorado.  “I would’a taken him out and stopped him!”  Of course, he didn’t have any plans for how he would do this, but he had belief.  Which is the underlying fault with the conservative side.  No facts, just belief.  He goes on to say that if he could sacrifice his own life to give other people a chance to survive, he would jump in front of the gunman, which I thought was noble.

But let’s be real.  I’ve been in some areas and situations when the pistols get to popping and no one, I repeat NO ONE, is a hero. It’s one thing to romanticize the act of being a hero, but it’s another thing entirely to hear the bullets fly and let your nuts hang (figuratively of course) enough to charge toward the person shooting.  When I was in it, I ran like a bitch, low to the ground, away from the troubled area–like everyone else did.  So for anyone saying that you would jump in front of a bullet in a mass shooting situation, you are either high or stupid or both.

Guns are the topic of this article.  Not the idiots who wield them. Now don’t think I’m one of those liberals who are against anything that’s not vegan or whatever. I DO in fact like guns. I think we should be able to purchase a gun, but I don’t think I should be able to buy a gun that can shoot 100 rounds in 30 seconds or one that can assassinate a deer from 4 football fields away. I don’t think there’s a need for fully automatic guns or bullets that can pierce bulletproof jackets.  What the fuck for?  Why would I need that … for those hordes of bears with bullet proof jackets raiding my trash cans?  Duh.

But what about those who don’t lead these exciting lives (which is everyone)?  We’re being led around by our noses by a well funded, well-racist organization called the National Rifle Association.  They would have you to believe that if everyone had a gun this country would be safer for it.  What’s one of their mottos? “The only thing that can stop a bad man with a gun is a good man with a gun.”  Basically, they are saying that if I had a gun and someone shoots up the place, I would stop them.  Me.  Bully from Minnesota who’s never shot at anyone. I’m supposed to be mature with a gun. I’m a good man like most, but damn if I’ve been glad I don’t own a gun sometimes. Shit, I wanted to shoot five people on the highway when I was going home from work.  I mean, how hard is it to merge? SERIOUSLY!

There is one main reason why guns are prevalent in America. We’re a nation of wussies. I mean we’re scared to death, and guns make us feel like we’re badass.  The NRA has successfully argued that you should get a gun because of the darkies out there.  And fuck you several times if you think that the NRA is not a racist organization. Only 18% percent of the members are “non-white” and of these overall memberships 67% own a gun for protection.  From what?  This unforeseeable incident that may or may not happen?  If a motherfucka wants to get you, chances are he will. He’s not going to walk over to you from across the street, gun in hand, stick you up and wait for you to pull out your gun so it can be a fair fight.  So protection is ludacris.

Now, if you are at a party of 100 people and only 18 of them are non-white, can we agree there isn’t much diversity in this group?  If you disagree, you need to reevaluate what diverse means to you.  Blacks, Latinos, and Asians like feeling safe and protecting our families, so this raises the question.  Why aren’t more of “us” in the NRA (or voting Republican for that matter)?

When you get to the nuts and bolts of the human race, we all pretty much want the same thing.  A decent job, neighborhood, car, and a nice place to raise a family.  So, why do these fucking idiots feel they know the secrets to the “do we need guns” question? They’re wusses! They can just concede that handguns and “deer” rifles are enough for the general public.  We need stronger background checks and better mental health services to weed out the crazies from getting their hands on a gun.  But NOOOOOO.  The spokesmen for the NRA are continually opposed to common sense laws. They philosophy is if everyone bought a gun, then we would all be safer. That’s special stupid. So, you know what?  I agree.  I have a perfect solution to the NRA.

Any person of color who wants to shut down the NRA, do this. JOIN THE NRA!  However, you can’t just join. You have to go to the meetings and conventions. Wear red and blue bandanas.  Dashikis.  Wear all of the native shit you have in the back of the closet.  Start toting the guns around for the so-called gun advocates to see. Tell everyone you’re a part of the NRA: Niggaz and Rifle Association. The NRA shit will shut down so fast. The NRA would be done within a year because, lets face it, they want to be around other pussy-ass racists, and they’ll be damned if they can’t have a place to tell nigger and spic jokes.



Bully Oshin
I’m a resident Minnesota shit-talker (by way of Texas), father of 2, and a yes man to one female human. I’m a failed musician/rapper with a flair for words. I enjoy all things of hateration; moreover, I’m a constant contrarian of pop culture. I love writing and podcasting. I don’t listen very well, but I love to talk about various topics, of which I have strong opinions. Catch my occasional podcast on Spreaker.
  • TheeLoveCats

    I really enjoyed this piece. :)

  • AlexisO

    I really liked this!

    I heard a quote (I don’t remember from who or where) that was; “If someone is pointing a gun at you, you don’t think “I wish I had a gun.” you think “I wish he didn’t have a gun.”” I thought that was so spot-on and it stuck with me.

    • TheeLoveCats

      Yeah, I think that about sums it up perfectly!

  • Duni Arnold

    “Any person of color who wants to shut down the NRA, do this. JOIN THE NRA! However, you can’t just join. You have to go to the meetings and conventions. Wear red and blue bandanas. Dashikis. Wear all of the native shit you have in the back of the closet.”

    Fucking lost it. I think I may disagree with you on certain aspects of gun policy (I really think we as gun violence opponents have a lot to gain from playing into the interests of gun nuts – an important lobby group – by allowing weapons like assault rifles for select individuals), but this part alone is fantastic. If only I was a scary black man.

    • bullyoshin

      You can be a scary black man in spirit.

  • BlackDanger

    So fucking perfect. Amen, bro.