Cranial Nerve: New World Disorder

My birthday is coming up in early September, and if I wasn’t feeling old enough already, I just had a grim revelation: because I am a) old, and b) stuck on the fact that I was the smartest kid in the fourth grade, I am now the equivalent of your crazy great aunt who still refers to anything Teutonic as “Prussian.”

I watched the olympics religiously when I was a young whippersnapper (Every four years, goddammit!) and boy, my world geography game was tight. All them little flags with the country names flashing on the screen every thirty seconds…it was a little filly with kiddie OCD’s wonderland. And the Olympic cities! Lillehammer, Norway! Albertville, France! Sarajevo, Yugosl—hang on a minute. Where did Yugoslavia go? Did it turn into Slovakia? No, that’s half of Czec—what used to be Czechoslovakia? Nooo! I loved Czechoslovakia! Yugo…Slovenia. Bosnia and Herzegovina. A thousand other new countries and friends. Don’t you remember that war? Oh that was THAT war? God, I was a mess in ’90s.

So the upshot of this is now I have to think before I speak so I don’t blithely say “Bombay” or “DeBeers” and end up sounding like Cecil Rhodes Jr. So watch out: If you don’t stay on top of things (like the world), even the smartest kid can grow up to be the dumbest adult.

 

New World Disorder

Below are a bunch of questions based on ways the globe has changed since my geography-bee years.

Paula Kelley
Borderline-expert on so many things that are damn near useful.
  • Blahblee

    I was not the smartest kid in 4th grade. I haven’t even totally caught up yet. I knew when Nevermind came out though.